We went to the cemetery yesterday. I don't know what to do at the cemetery. We get there, get out next to Aaron's marker and just stand there. It's like "Yep, it's still there. Yep, everything is still spelled right." I feel odd talking to him, because he isn't there. He never was. My son is in heaven. I think of, and remember him often.
Every time I see a butterfly, I think of him. It's interesting to note that we saw a butterfly at every place we went this summer. He was there with us everywhere we went. Every time I see a baby, especially one that's about the age he would have been, I think of him. Aaron would have been almost 4 months old. I can't believe it's been that long.
Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. I can remember every detail of that morning. Other times it feels like it happened in some alternate universe. I don't forget that it happened, but it doesn't feel like it happened to me.
In the past few days, a couple of people that we are not in any way close to (people we knew in college) have told us how much they were thinking of us last spring. It's surprising to me that they even remember to say anything. Aaron's death seems to have affected more people than we even realize. Through the books, he will continue to affect people for the better.
Hug your loved ones. You never know when they might leave you.
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